Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
