then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
