We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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