I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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