Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
