this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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