I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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