Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
