I wanna bring you to show and tell
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
