I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
