I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize