Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
