it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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