I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
