When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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