so explain again why im purple
no
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
