you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
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how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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