Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
