He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
