okay pat passed out under dana's car
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
