You're my little dorito
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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