he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
