Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
