Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
