Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
