i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
