how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
