Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
