Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
