What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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