quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
wow bdsm is so cute
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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