I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize