I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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