Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
