when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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