Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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