The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
