to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
