insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
