3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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