we have pet lesbian snakes
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
