I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
