Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
