a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We talked him into tasing himself.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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