I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
