Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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