question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
