You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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