Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had to cum in my sink.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize