Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
