I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm really busy with my period
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