he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
a search helicopter?!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
