Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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