So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
