...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
