talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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