Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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