In the future we'll all be gay
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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