he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
