I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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