He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
