my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
