I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
