i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Your dad touched me again.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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