So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
